Its a sex and the city kind of day

Since my last blog things have started to become hopeful again. I've gone on a few job interviews....none for what I have a degree in but that doesnt seem to matter.

I think the reason that I panicked so badly was that I HATE my job (notice the hate in all capitals). Its extremely stressful and the people are often impossible. I need a new job, something I like doing....something that I get excited about. Beau loves his job but to be fair hes also had 6 more years of finding himself than Ive had. It isn't fair to compare our lives

So the great job search continues. I am interviewing for medical assistant, dental assistant, secretary.

My point is....if anyone in Cape Cod wants to hire and HR girl. Here I am! Please?

Just another sad sad song....

I had a complete melt down today on the way home from the animal shelter. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot I started to uncontrollably sob. I'm sad for so many reasons I miss my family, I miss my friends, I have no friends here, I hate my job, I'm unsure of how serious my boyfriend is about me. It all came out though because my man told me once again that I could not get a cat. He kept saying "we'll get you a cat eventually" which just made it all worse. Eventually is such a vague term....I like to have a time line...to know when thing are going to happen.

I finally got a real answer as to why I can't have a kitten though. According to the beau he is still adjusting to me living in his apartment...which hurt a lot more than I let him know. Shouldn't he be adjusted by now? If he didn't want me living here shouldn't he have not asked me to move in with him. He knew this was going to happen. He asked for it, didn't he?

I feel so lost. Im so sad and upset and I don't know how to fix it...or even if I can.

Today is a two parter

Ingredients

• 2 small heads Boston lettuce, torn into pieces
• 12 ounces sliced deli roast beef
• 1 large beefsteak tomato, cut into wedges
• 1/2 red onion, sliced
• 4 ounces soft goat cheese, crumbled
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• kosher salt and black pepper

Directions

1. Divide the lettuce, roast beef, tomato, onion, and goat cheese among bowls.
2. In a small bowl, whisk together the oil, vinegar, mustard, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Drizzle over the salad.

I've been awfully whiney lately so to show that I am not completely self absorbed... 




"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."




Psalm 23

All you need is love?

I think The Beetles were wrong when they sang all you need is love. Love doesn't fix broken things.

Do you ever feel like your incredibly stupid? I feel like that pretty much 24-7 but its been much worse since I took this job. I wake up feeling sick to my stomach every morning because I don't want to go and I leave every night and cry. This is not how it was suppose to be.

My laundry list of things that are upsetting me:
1) I hate my job
2) I have no friends (literally none, except for my beau's mother and she does NOT count)
3) I gave up my entire life to move to some god forsaken island to be with my beau and he won't even let me have a cat, let alone marry me or talk about starting a family.
4) I'm far from my family


So far I have cried myself to sleep 3 nights this week and he hasn't noticed once. I don't know what is worse, feeling this way or feeling this way and not having him notice that anything is wrong.


I think Im officially depressed.

Oh little lady...

Home alone again. It only happens 2 nights a week (if I'm lucky) but it doesn't make it suck any less. I hate that I have to sleep alone, that I don't get a goodnight kiss or even a snuggle. I'm envious of those couples that get to spend every night together....even though some times I'm thankful for the time to myself to watch things like Hef's runaway bride or Real housewives of orange county. I know Im whining and there are military couples that spend months apart but im whinny so there it is.

Still no closer to forcing him into a pet. I've been desperate for a kitten since I moved. Originally a year ago...I wanted to get a dog in the worst way...Then E got her dog and C got her cats and so i decided that was enough pets for one apartment and it wouldn't have been fair to the animal to bring him into that situation. Soooo when I moved here I was over the moon about FINALLY being able a pet. However he doesn't want a pet...i have gotten the following reasons...the cost (if you would like to donate to the get me a cat fund please comment), who will take care of it (duh, i will) and who will watch it when we go on a multitude of vacations (what vacations? we neverrrr go anywhere over night). It's incredibly frustrating to want something so bad while he seems so nonchalant about it.

What are your thoughts? Am I overreacting? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?



PS. Holly Madison is supremely cooler than Crystal Harris. Crystal is awful....she has a laugh worst than Kendra and is pretty much a horrible person. The End.

"If you've lost your sense of humor you're dead in the water"

Noah's Ark

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark:

1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do

something really big.

5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

8. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the

cheetahs.

9. When you're stressed, float a while.

10. Remember the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

We are wild and free, so call us freaks, but thats just the way we roll!

So I'm going to be a bit scattered today...

Monte Carlo was very cute but very much a teen girl movie. It was the perfect movie to see by myself while he was at work. I even got free popcorn out of it from Yahoo!

Horrible Bosses wasn't horrible. Jennifer Anniston was hilariously crude...really all the bosses were fantastic but other than that I thought the film fell short of how funny it should have been. Like most recent films, the funniest parts were in the commercials.

Zagg is a company that makes protective casings for all of your techie needs. Why am I talking about Zagg on my blog? Because if the stock goes over $15 a share for more than a week, I get to go to Disneyland! No seriously, my beau told me I could go to Disneyland if it gets $15 or more! SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BUY ZAGG!!!! www.Zagg.com



My inspirational thought for the day (brought to you by my little sisters best friend):


This is how it works, you're young until you're not. you love until you don't. you try until you can't. you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh, and everyone must breathe until their dying breath.

Pasta with Feta and Vegetables.

Serves 4| Hands-On Time: 20m | Total Time: 20m

Ingredients

• 12 ounces linguine (3/4 box)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 pound zucchini, sliced into thin half-moons
• kosher salt and pepper
• 1 clove garlic, chopped
• 5 ounces fresh goat cheese, crumbled
• 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest

Directions

1. Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Reserve 1 cup of the cooking water, drain the pasta, and return it to the pot.
2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add the zucchini, ½ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper.
3. Cook, stirring, until the zucchini is tender and any liquid has evaporated, about 5 minutes.
4. Stir in the garlic and cook 1 minute more.
5. Add all but 2 tablespoons of the cheese to the pasta. Add the reserved cooking water, ¾ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper. Stir until creamy.
6. Serve the pasta topped with the zucchini, lemon zest, and remaining 2 tablespoons cheese.

Long day so my post for today is only a delicious receipe I made for dinner. He wont eat it though because it has goat cheese in it. Feta is actually quite delicious. Saw Horrible Bosses today as well...maybe a short review in tomorrows post. 

The times they are a changin'

My baby sister is graduating. I can't even being to comprehend this...she is 18...she is able to vote, smoke or buy lottery tickets. Where did the little girl who loved her binkie and couldn't say ravioli properly? I want her back!

I know I sound like a mother right now but there are 6 years in between us...so in a way i am like a mother to her...but the really cool mom. The one who lets you get away with tons of shit and you can tell everything to.

Now my baby is off to college. She is going to a different school than the rest of her friends...I can't tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. She is going to a co-ed school though and will be playing sports so I feel like she will be able to make friends quite rapidly. She also always been a social butterfly so Im not worried about her.

I went to one of the few remaining all female colleges in the country. It was a wonderful experience but I honestly don't recommend it to anyone. It was very hard without the easiness that guys seem to add to things. I wouldn't change my experience because it really taught me how to survive completely on my own. It wasn't the 'typical' college experience that you see in movies but it suited me at the time.